Monthly Archives: January 2009

faux pas

Ladies,

Shorts + leggings = no.

This is what pants are for.

Kthxbye.

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eurotrip = fail.

what could have been...

Oh WordPress, how I’ve missed you. Judging from the date of my last post and my general neglect for blogging, you can probably point out some fallacies associated with the previous statement. I did have some grand plans for Postcards though. This semester, Postcards was supposed to fulfill its name and be just that – snapshots and vignettes from life abroad.

Ever since I was in middle school, one of my goals in life was to go to Europe. Doesn’t seem to be very hard, and it certainly isn’t a big accomplishment by any measure, but I still can’t seem to manage to get it done.

I was originally supposed to study at Universiteit Utrecht in the Netherlands this semester, but unfortunately, those plans were axed, mostly due to my own extreme stupidity. Everything was set to go until early last semester, when I decided to switch from Dutch to Chinese for my foreign language requirements, mostly for practical reasons. As my major required 4 semesters of foreign language study, and with Chinese not being a commonly taught language in the Netherlands, I figured I would have to abandon my dreams. Imagine my suprise when I discovered that UU was offering the equivalent of a Chinese level 2 class this semester. If only I had taken the time to find out about this 3 months ago.

Partly out of frustration, I’ve been surfing the web for the past 3 days trying to plan out a  semester abroad in my remaining time at Berkeley. Unfortunately, due to law school applications and job recruiting that will take place next semester, planning becomes infinitely more difficult, bordering on the impossible.

This afternoon, I had an epiphany. Perhaps I could convince my parents to allow me to go abroad next fall, and then take a year off after graduation to apply for law school. I fiddled around with the nuances of such a plan, and finally came up with an acceptable roadmap. Elated and reveling in self congratulation at what I thought was an ingenius plan, I quickly checked the study abroad website only to discover that the deadline to apply for the fall had passed 6 days ago.

I don’t know why I’ve refused to let it go. Perhaps it’s because I’m a really stubborn person, or perhaps it’s because I couldn’t bear the thought of giving up on something that I’ve wanted to do for so long. Obviously, it’s probably a little of both. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve come to love Berkeley. After a disappointing and miserable first semester, due to high expectations and the misery that is associated with being a science major, I have truly fallen back in love with this place. This is the place that I’ve dreamed of coming to ever since I started seriously considering where I wanted to go to school, and given a second chance, I wouldn’t change a thing. Where else can I take classes from Nobel Laureates and other celebrities and at the same time indulge in the madness that is life in the Bay Area? However, I think I’ve come to the point where I’ve gotten a little stir-crazy, and I just want to try something new. I thought that spending a summer DC would help quell this feeling, but instead, it only helped fan the flames and has left me wanting more. I think this restlessness comes from dealing with the monotony of life in Plano for so many years. I can no longer stay in one place for an extended period of time. I don’t see myself staying in California after graduation either. I’m not completely sold on the whole California mystique, and there’s simply too much of the world left to see.

Unfortunately, for the time being, I seem to be stuck in place. Those exotic plans will just have to wait.

And so here I sit, more than a little bitter at all the missed opportunities, and frustrated that I have no one to blame but myself.

Self pity is a terrible thing.

Random observation of the day: the word counter tells me that this post is exactly 666 words long. Coincidence?

double you tee eff

I can’t seem to make anything go my way. I don’t really know what I’m doing anymore.

Sorry for being cryptic, but this is as much public emo-bitching as I feel comfortable doing.

Expect more posts soon. It’s a New Year’s Resolution, although we all know how long those last.