Washington is beckoning. So is the Peace Corps, Teach for America, backpacking through Europe and Latin America, studying abroad, grad school, and maybe just curling up with my headphones, an iced Americano, and a good book.
Suddenly, I have no idea what I’ll be doing 8 months from now, and yet, I feel strangely liberated.
Turns out there’s life without law school after all.
Driving in San Francisco at night, off the beaten path, really reveals how truly amazing this city truly is. Too bad that, at least at this point in my life, it doesn’t feel like home. Maybe someday.
Haven’t done this in a while (since the days of Xanga), but I always liked it, so I’m bringing it back.
Listening To: Stéphane Pompougnac – Hôtel Costes: Vol. 6
Reading: Lush Life by Richard Price
Watching: Wall Street
Today, a guy was standing on Telegraph handing out samples of Monster Energy Shots. Although the generosity is greatly appreciated during a particularly sleep deprived finals week, I’m still wary of the packaging. I’ve always been turned off by energy drinks like Monster and Full Throttle that come alarming-looking cans, complete with jarring colors, flames, and claw marks. The energy shots are new to me. These have bullet holes. I understand this stuff is probably marketed at testosterone-crazed frat boys, but still. I already know this stuff is going to kill me. I don’t need to be reminded of that when I pick it up off the shelf.
Just in case you’re wondering, the shot has 6 grams of sugar, 2000 mg of taurine, 400mg of ginseng, and 5000 mg of something called “energy blend” (glucose, l-carnitine, caffeine, inositol, guarana, glucuronolactone, and maltodextrin).
Holy shit I’m going to die.
I should definitely be studying.
I’m always amused that the only times I get a hankering for blogging are when I am horribly behind on schoolwork. On a side note, screw you, Professor Crawford. A 10 page takehome midterm? You sadistic bitch, as if I really needed another reason to hate you and your class.
Sorry, just had to let that one out.
Anyways, I’ve noticed something about myself that really disturbs me. This trainwreck of a semester has probably been the toughest that I’ve had since I’ve gotten here, yet as the semester continues, I just don’t care anymore. I stopped doing actual work about a month ago, and I simply don’t go to a lot of my classes anymore. I’m really not sure why. I’ve got plenty that I should be doing – a mountain of LSAT homework, 2 10-page papers, and internship applications are just the tip of the iceberg. Usually I have this irrational fear that sets in when I fail to be productive, but I’ve found that fear has now been replaced by apathy. Right now, coasting for the rest of the semester and blowing off finals and the LSAT is sounding like a prettygood plan to me. It should be scaring the hell out of me that I’m even thinking this way, but it’s not. What is it all for anyways? Law school? Graduate school? A job? I don’t even know what I want to do next weekend, much less what I want to do for the rest of my life.
It’s not as if I’m spending the time doing something I shouldn’t be doing, but rather, I’m spending time doing nothing at all. Case in point – I had set aside yesterday afternoon to do homework and failed rather miserably. Was I out at one of the many parties on frat row? Lounging in the sun? Catching up with friends? No, I spent the entirety of yesterday lying prone on my bed, surfing the web. Maybe this is a sign that I’m not ready for law school in a year, but I actually think it’s more than that. The ironic thing is that up until this point, I’ve actually been doing really well this semester. Maybe I’ve just burnt out.
All semester, I’ve been using my return to DC this summer as motivation to keep going, but after an endless stream of rejections, I honestly don’t even really feel like going back anymore. Is it strange that I just want to leave school and travel? Too bad that’s not a financially viable option.
Like always, I start posts like this to try to sort out my feelings, and like always, all I find is a jumbled mess of thoughts.
Basically, I think at the moment, I’d rather be anywhere but here.
A couple minutes ago, I was waiting at a shuttle stop at the I-house, where a bus was waiting to pick people up for a sorority invite. I watched as a girl had to be carried by her hands and feet off the bus because she was passed out. A couple of her friends laid her out on the grass, making sure she was still breathing. Someone pregamed a little too hard. This kind of behavior is a little disturbing, and it’s more than a little sophomoric. The sad thing is that this is a pretty common occurrence. Know your limits. To be so hammered that you become a danger to yourself and the people around you is way beyond the limits of “just having a good time”. Also, the behavior of the rest of the partygoers was just appalling. They were all milling around, laughing and joking as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on.
Sometimes I am sickened by the lack of morals and compassion around here.
My economics professor made the gloomy prediction today that the current recession could last for five to seven years. So much for the predictions that we could be out of this mess by the end of the year.
Random thought, but I think 2008 was the best year for movies we’ve had in a LONG time.
So Harry dragged me out of the apartment today to help him shop for business clothes. As I forced myself out of bed to shower and get dressed, I realized something while rumaging through my closet. I enjoy fashion and style, and I enjoy flipping through GQ once a month. I guess that makes me metro and maybe a bit vain, but take from that what you will. However, when it actually comes to getting dressed every morning, more often than not I find myself throwing on a T-shirt with jeans and a hoodie. It all looks nice in the pages of a magazine, but I guess I’m just too lazy to put effort into looking nice. Comfort and convenience come first. It’s a strange and slightly irrelevent contradiction. I don’t know why I even bothered writing this. It probably doesn’t reflect well on me.
Though I’d share the view from my window. Sometimes i forget how stunningly beautiful this place can be.
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